This day.

5 years ago. 

I didn’t know until that moment the pain my heart was capable of feeling. 

I didn’t realise that heartbreak could be felt as physically as it did. I didn’t realise a lot of things. I didn’t realise that my husband had been having an affair for the past few months. I didn’t realise that he was planning a life that didn’t include me and our daughter (or as she put it: things they needed to overcome.) 

So much I didn’t realise. 

I didn’t realise the strength I had within me. I didn’t realise that hearts, no matter how much they are shattered, can heal. I didn’t realise that hearts can love again. I didn’t realise that hearts can experience heart shattering pain again. And again. And still heal and still be capable of loving. 

I didn’t realise how far I’d travelled from myself. I didn’t realise the joy that can come on the other side of healing. I didn’t realise that healing never ends. I didn’t realise how much I have to offer those who are open to receiving. 

5 years ago my whole life shattered.

Today I stand on the brink of something big.

Not knowing which way I’ll go.

Asking for Grace to wash over me.

Asking for Love and Compassion to be the filter through which I speak my words.

Reminding myself constantly “I am safe and held in Love and Acceptance by the Big Mama.”

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