I was first introduced to Yemanya when I heard Deva Premal singing ‘Yemaya Assessu’. There was just something about it that drew me to it. Over time I looked into who she was and discovered that she’s an African goddess. Yoruba, to be specific. The tribe that my (ex) husband descends from. Maybe her appeal (to me) is that she’s the mother of all.
I started a tarot self love challenge on Instagram today (1st Feb 2016) where there are 29 questions regarding self love and each day you ask one of them and draw a card for guidance. Today’s question, on day 1, was this. How can I cultivate more self-love in my life? I drew Yemanya. The insight I received was to go with the flow. It’s funny (not quite the right word) that I drew this card while sitting at the beach.
Later that day, after my gym session, I found myself back at the beach. Alone. It was perfect. I had wanted the time to just be. I noticed a piece of bark sticking out of the sand and pulled it out. It was perfect for a ritual I was wanting to do. I had been looking for a leaf to write on but this piece of bark was big enough to write everything that needed to be said.
I put it with my things with the intention of finding the right place to do the ritual on another day. I even thought of inviting someone to come with me to just hold the space for me. Then suddenly…BOOM!
The timing is perfect. You are ready. The Great Mama will hold the space for you. You are loved. There is only love. All love.
So I wrote. I cried. I wrote some more. I cried some more. Then I was ready. I had planned to bury whatever I had written on but now I felt compelled to give it to the sea. To Yemanya, Goddess of the living Ocean. To the Great Mama.
I started walking into the seas, it was low tide and I needed to get beyond the rocks. As I walked, I scanned the area and noticed a man in the distance. His pace meant that he’d reach me while I was still in the sea and I felt uncomfortable.
Maybe you have more to say.
So I went back and wrote a bit more. I acknowledged the man as he passed and the feeling of unease remained. He started making these ‘psst’ sounds at me as he walked. I ignored them at first. Looked up once and when he stopped, I carried on writing. I scanned the beach again and realised that the walkway to the beach closer to my car provided me with better access to the open sea and my letter wouldn’t get caught up in the rock pools.
I walked a bit on the burning tar, feet burning. Singing as I went. Back on the sand, I offered a feather I’d found on my path and then my letter. Asking Great Spirit, the Great Mama and all my guides to support me in letting go, in accepting and in surrendering to what is. Then I let it go. In my mind, on repeat,
I am safe and held in love and acceptance by the Great Mama.
There is only love.
Later that evening, Baby Girl and I went for a walk along that same stretch of beach. I looked out at the area where I’d walked earlier. It was now covered in water. The tide had come in. I wondered if I’d see my bark letter then realised that I was not attached to what happens to it now. That too, was part of letting go.
On reflection now, at the end of the day, I realise that Yemanya was offering me the opportunity to practice self-love by letting go. Today, I went with the flow. I didn’t need a perfect ritual. The way things happened was perfect for me.
Blessings and thanks for reading ❤